Oh hey there, gentle readers...I always love that line it reminds me of that scene in Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Andrew is in fantasy mode, dressed like Hugh Hefner, and says "Hello, gentle viewers," or some such nonsense. That shit cracks me up every time. Now that I've got my love for all things Buffy out of the way and declared to the interwebs that I'm a total geek, what have I been up to for the last several years? Neglecting my blog evidently.

I'll admit it's been a challenging few years, so let's just call this post the "oh em gee" I'm blogging gain post and for now I'll leave you hanging because I'm typing on my iPhone, I've got 8% battery power, and my foot is stuck in a boot. To be continued...

Taking it one day at a time

It's been a while since I posted and that is because I started school again last week. I'm taking 3 classes right now and working full time, so life is a bit hectic. The plus side (ha I just wrote plus size and had to correct myself, guess you can tell what's on my mind) the plus side is I have spoken with my doctor about getting off the med I'm currently on. So, I'm weening off one and onto another that will hopefully not have weight gain as a side effect. Fingers crossed!

I have made it to crossfit twice last week and today. This is a milestone for me since my sleep patterns are a problem and often times my meds make me too groggy to wake up at 5 am, but I've managed to get up and go! While my foot is still bothering me (I start PT in 2 weeks) I am modifying wods to focus on upper body movements, substituting rowing for running, and generally not pushing myself if my foot hurts.

Getting back into it has been amazing and I love the community of supportive coaches and athletes at Crosssfit Oakland. I couldn't ask for a better box.

With crossfit has come more attention to healthy eating and I'm working on getting back into eating more and more paleo. Dinner tonight is wild salmon, zucchini fritters and baby potatoes for the hubby.

Overall I'm feeling positive!

Crazy with a side of chicken

So, it wasn't the gluten it was apparently a stomach bug, but the good thing is my brain now associates pizza with feeling crappy. It's kinda like when I was a kid and drank a ton of orange soda at a Super Bowl party and ended up with the flu later that night. I could never drink orange soda again. So, huzzah!

Anyway, I spent last week catching up from being sick and I started school again Saturday. Hence the crazy. I have a new mantra though - find creativity and joy in everyday. Today's joy and creativity came in trying to make the food lover's general tao's chicken. I discovered that arrowroot powder and flour are likely not the same thing. My batter turned into a weird hard, yet wet looking mass that could easily have been used as a paperweight or perhaps clay for kids' art projects. So, I dumped the batter and started over using coconut flour and from here I pretty much changed a bunch of the recipe. I ultimately ended up with very tasty orange chicken. I am now working on perfecting he recipe. Woot for kitchen fails turning into new recipe development.

Gluten Will Kill Me

Ugh. I need to remember that when I feel like crap eating crap will not make me feel better. I've been suffering from the sickies lately - stuffy head, headache, sniffles, general icky cold stuff - and yesterday instead of just eating some bone broth or soup I bought a frozen pizza. Can you believe it? I did. Total faileo. I'm 99% certain that the gluten bomb is responsible for the following:

• I tossed and turned all night
• I was hot and then cold 
• When I would roll over to my stomach it felt like someone punched me in the gut
• I woke up with an acne breakout on my face
• I had digestive issues all day today

I would like to think that I have learned my lesson, but I'm human. I know I'll make the same mistake again sometime, but I'm hoping not for a very, very long time.

Explaining Gluten Free and an Update to My Granola

So, today I was asked by my lovely employee at work for help on moving towards a gluten-free lifestyle.

I was super excited and it reminded me of some of the funny gifs over at  What Should We Call Paleo Life. If you have not checked out this website. Go. NOW. I will wait.

OK now that you have laughed from all those amazing paleo gifs back to the story. Helping someone move towards gluten-free....

She has terrible sinus issues and a relative mentioned to her that going gluten-free might help. Huzzah!! Yes, yes it will. I will be bringing in Diane Sanfilippo's book Practical Paleo for her to get a jump start.

Here were my two sentences of advice:

1) Don't eat anything that comes in a package, but if you have to...
2) READ the labels

I also let her know that eating gluten-free doesn't have to be super expensive, but that it often is more time consuming because you are forced to cook real food rather than buying pre-packaged food.

I also sent her to the Food Lover's website because they have amazing recipes for someone who is just getting into the whole eating gluten-free life.

I am really excited to see how this goes for her.

Oh - and a minor tweak to my Granola post from the other day. I mixed honey and maple syrup together and baked it for 20 minutes total checking it and turning it every 5 minutes. It came out with a much crunchier texture. Yum!!

Saturday Morning Reflections

I am frustrated. Yup. This weight gain has been unbearable. I wore a dress yesterday and did not wear shorts underneath. I officially experienced severe chub rub. For all you skinny people out here that is when your thighs rub together and chafe. It is not fun. It is painful and eventually results in one walking like a bull rider.

I am conflicted. I know that this weight gain was not my fault. It was an unfortunate side effect of medication that I need in order to be healthy. Yet, it made me unhealthy. There is little I can do to take the pounds off because they were not gained by over eating. They were gained due to a chemically induced change to my metabolism. So, what do I do? I can't go off my meds because the results of an unmedicated, bipolar Melissa are not good for those around me and I'd really like to stay married! It has been suggested that I look into a drug called qsymia,which alters one's metabolism.

So here I am taking one drug and another and another. I feel like a walking pharmacy, but worse I feel hopeless and uncomfortable in my own skin. I am embarrassed by the way I look and unsure of what to do next, but something has to give.

Jeff Buckley and Coffee Ice Cream

Came home to hubby hanging out watching a Jeff Buckley DVD and eating store bought coconut milk ice cream. You think I'd be devastated. Nope. I was all like whatevs I've got an ice cream maker, a can of coconut cream, and instant coffee bitches.

Is there anything better than cuddling on the couch with your love, eating coffee ice cream and listening to Jeff Buckley sing a love song? I can't give you a love to cuddle with or bring back Jeff Buckley, but I can give you ice cream.

No cook - Coconut milk coffee ice cream

1 can of coconut milk or cream
1 tsp of vanilla
1/4 of maple syrup (or less depending on your sweet tooth level)
2 T of instant coffee (I used a via packet from Starbucks)

Whisk it all together and throw in your ice cream maker. 20 minutes and viola!